I love this time of year. It’s often a happy, magical time. But to many, this time of year also brings stress –emotional and financial stress and our dreaded never-ending to do lists.
It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle– Gifts left to buy. Holiday cards to get out Wrapping presents. (Ok, who’s kidding – I may cheat and do bags or have 3 very capable teenagers earn their keep.) Holiday parties. Travel headaches. And the list goes on. Are you tired, exhausted and overwhelmed yet? I am.
But I’ve learned over the years to resign from the chaos and overwhelm and take my holidays back! I have let go of the guilt and let go of my own expectations for perfection. Who cares if the Christmas cards become New Year cards. Who cares if I do bags instead of perfectly wrapped gifts. Who cares if I skip holiday parties because I would rather be at home enjoying my own Christmas tree in my PJ’s. Call me imperfect. Call me selfish. But for me, I call it taking my holidays back.
I love my family traditions – although post-divorce I had to learn to create new traditions. I love Christmas. I love giving. I love celebrating the true meaning of Christmas. I no longer get stressed. I no longer worry. I truly do enjoy.
Here are six tips that I’ve used to take my own holidays back and avoid the holiday chaos and blues.
1) STOP WITH THE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
Be authentic. Be real. Be who you are. Don’t try to be something or someone you’re not.
- A pinterest-inspired amazing table setting. Sounds and looks awesome. But for me, probably not a reality this year.
- A perfectly decorated tree. Nope. The kids don’t understand balance. The top strand of lights stopped working. And I have let that go.
- A picture-perfect home decorated for the holidays. Nope. Somehow managed to lose my wreaths for the front door this year and finally gave up. Had good intentions to buy new ones but that never happened. So I’m letting that go.
- Christmas cards out before New Years? Maybe this year. Last year missed it completely. But I’m not stressing.
My point is that we all need to realize that we all can’t be “magazine” or “Facebook” perfect. Perfection is way over-rated. Be the real you – not the you that you think others want or expect. For me, the important part is that I’m here – alive – to celebrate – with family and friends in my own imperfectly perfect way.
2) BE PRESENT. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKES, PUT AWAY YOUR PHONES.
Be PRESENT. Truly be present in the moment. Put away the phones. Watch your kids as they sing off-key at the holiday concert at school. Look at the holiday lights all around you. Watch your family as they unwrap their gifts. Listen to the conversations around the dinner table (unless it turns to politics, and then you may want to reconsider). I am going to try harder at home to heed my own advice. I challenge you to do the same.
3) DO SOMETHING FOR OTHERS. WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN.
During the holiday season, tis the season of giving. For me, over the years, I have tried to give and do for others, not just during the holidays, but all year long. I don’t always post these things on Facebook – I don’t do it for that reason. I do it because I believe we all have a responsibility to give back in this life and I have a burning desire to help others.
This holiday season, remember it’s better to give than to receive. Teach your children that. Adopt a family. Give to charity. Lend a helping hand. Not for the recognition. But rather because you want to do it.
Say a prayer for those who are struggling. The holidays can be hard on those who have lost someone. Those who are alone. Those who are dealing with a new sense of normal. I’ve been there. And it sucks. I had to look deep inside myself and create new traditions. Reach out to those who are hurting. A quick email, phone call, card. I know that meant so much to me. Connect with people – truly connect. Be the good.
4) SAY NO. SO THAT YOU CAN SAY YES TO WHAT REALLY MATTERS.
No is a complete sentence. No justification is needed. Learn to set priorities and focus on your must do’s and let go of the rest. I call it “resigning as general manager of the universe.” Focus on what’s really important and let the rest go.
The reality is that we can’t be all things to all people and we must start to take care of us by learning to delegate and saying no.
So all of those holiday parties you get invited to and don’t really want to go to – say yes only to those you want to go to. Say NO to the rest.
5) TAKE CARE OF YOU.
Tis the Season to be Tired. But if you’re not healthy, you can’t take care of anyone else. Sleep, exercise, do something for you. You are giving to others this time of year, be sure to give to YOURSELF too. Self-care is not selfish – it’s necessary to thrive.
6) BE GRATEFUL, FIND THE JOY AND YES, EVEN BE A LITTLE SILLY.
It’s easy at times, particularly during the holidays, to think about what we don’t have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you DO have. Be grateful. Find the joy. And yes, even be a little silly. For me, this means, putting on my santa hat and dancing around the house like a crazy woman. I laugh. I smile. I find the joy.
Here’s to you taking your holiday back! Resign, let go and focus on what’s important.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday filled with love, joy, happiness, peace, laughter and cookies – lots of cookies.
